SubscribeThe entire idea of “what do I want to be when I grow up” has haunted me all of my life.
I was worried in 6th grade when the only answer I had was “a ballerina,” even knowing then that my body was going to fight me the entire way, and probalby win.
My real problem was something I finally articulated about 15 years ago in Eugene. I want to do everything – almost. I’ve never wanted to go ump out of a plane. Where my mother said “if God had wanted me to fly he would have given me wings,” I said, “if God had wanted me to skydive he wouldn’t have given me a perfectly good airplane.” But that’s a digression. (Prepare for those. I ramble!)
Last year I read Barbara Sher’s Refuse to Choose. I still don’t fit. Don’t get me wrong – this woman is still one of my idols – what else can you do but admire a welfare mother who pulled herself up and out and devotes her career to helping other people do the same? I’ve read WishCraft, heard her speak, tried to use it – couldn’t narrow my focus, couldn’t do it, read I Could do Anything if Only I Knew what it Was, and realized that I answered “yes” to almost everything in the questionnaires, and reallized that I do want the world — and the moon, and the stars, too. when it comes to life I want to taste most of it. I’m in awe of people who have a purpose other than some vague “I want to help people,” that drives them utterly.
I need to leave for work, though. More later.